Our Story

Written by Jessica Adams (an accurate and honest account) 

You know those romantic movies we are sold when we are little. Childhood sweetheart… grow up together, grow apart, some big epic thing happens that changes everything, BLAM they’re back together…forever. I always believed in those great love stories. I was enamored by them; captivated to the point where it really shaped my overall believability in the impossible. I dreamt of that once in a lifetime love, hell I even saw the white picket fence and after seeing Jonny again for the first time in a long time, I saw my path. That belonging and clarity that to live your life as it was truly intended…it had to be them; and it was and always has been him. My north, my home, my best friend. 
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This “Our Story” must be quick in summarizing over a decade of desperately trying to convince one another and ourselves that we needed to move on. Every time though however, neither of us really could. A classic and equally cliché romance; popular high school footballer claims to have never seen the shy but cute artsy girl. Even after growing up in the same town and school system since our playground era, I remember seeing Jonny in the hallway at High School, as I glided past him without a second thought. Funny how sometimes life places your destiny center stage. When we saw each other “again” something clicked. We were 21 and I had just returned home from a study abroad trip. A life event that very much shaped me. A happenstance of mutual friends was the only reason Jonny and I ever even spoke that night, at a place in our hometown called Jacks Porch (Those that know, know). The year was 2010.
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In what would be a re-occurring theme…we were both with someone else at the time, but the chemistry was immediate. Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t question anything? There is a soul-bound certainty that you are exactly where you’re meant to be, with the exact person. It’s always been that way for us. It’s just always felt like we were going against gravity every time we were apart. That our love was just some sort of fact. A scientific explanation of fate. Going against it would only cause turmoil; and it did. 
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Two years past and we got incredibly close. He was my absolute best friend and I felt I was his. I used to go visit him in college and I vividly remember how impactful that time of my life was. I was able to finally end an incredibly toxic relationship and not even two weeks went by before Jonny asked me on our first date. It was October 2013, the weekend before Halloween when he pulled up in a black Avalanche truck, with a bouquet of yellow roses (my favorite flower). We never looked back after that night. The damage was done. Everything we felt for the last two years was validated the moment I opened my apartment door.
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Now of course, those that have been there understand that this transition from friends to more than is not always seamless, and we quickly were able to list our differences before acknowledging our similarities. We were young, in our early 20’s and everyone can attest to what it feels like trying to figure yourself out. One of the things that attracted me to Jonny was his determination, but it was also what justified his decision to break up two years later. 
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Him traveling the world and me moving to San Francisco. I was heartbroken and determined to make Jonny regret ever leaving me; and that started with my journey of independence. Thus, as fate or some cruel joke would have it, Jonny ended up moving to San Francisco shortly there-after, conveniently finding an apartment directly across the street from me. The only thing between us? The Twitter headquarters. Let’s all just keep in mind that at this point, we swore to not see each other.  Well, that lasted all of 48 hours and soon we fell into that fun yet entirely unproductive circle of “we’re not together but still talk” phase. Friends were confused, my father was mad and the poor people that tried to date us during those years only got half of us. 
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 I lived in San Francisco for three years; and in all that time I was with someone else. I did my best to create a life without him and accepting that no matter how much I wanted things to go differently- maybe we just weren’t it. There was a brief stint of us trying to get back together in late 2018 but this time… your girl was the one who walked away. Imagine how shocked we both were. I’ll never forget that walk back to my apartment, it was this profound combination of being so proud of myself, but also so utterly heart broken- this time I wasn’t looking back. In 2018 I moved out of San Francisco to begin the next phase of my life. A phase that I had dreamt of since I was little…I moved to New York City to pursue my fashion design career. A one-way ticket and a suitcase full of my designs. I. Was. Terrified. My heart was pounding so loud and fast, it eventually drowned out any fear coming from my head. Jonny was off traveling the world, being brilliant in his career and much of my motivation was coming from years of feeling stuck. This was my salvation. 
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Even though we were both living different lives, I think I can speak for both of us when I say in the back of our minds, no matter time or space…the feeling just never went away. Not even when I got engaged in late 2019. Without going into too much gruesome, emotional detail I said yes when I shouldn’t have. Especially since Jonny and I had seen one another two nights beforehand, plotting my escape. I believe we even mentioned running away to an entirely different country. Starting over. All that fell apart over my inability to speak my truth, and as a result... I spent months trying to convince myself that I did the right thing. This was it. I will spend the rest of my life wishing things went differently. I will be happy enough. I will make a stained-glass window from the broken pieces of my heart and eventually, light will shine through once again. As romantic and clever as that sounds…I couldn’t do it. 
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2020. Pandemic. Honestly, I don’t think Jonny and I would’ve gotten back together had it not happened. The world stopped and as a result both Jonny and I ended up back in Southlake during that summer. Remember… I’m still engaged and at this point my father is noticing something is seriously off with me and basically…I needed to figure my shit out. I feared a lot but mainly…disappointing people. Turns out, worrying about what other people think is nanoscopic compared to playing pretend with your own life. It’s easier to please than to disrupt. 
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I ended my engagement in June of 2020 and ran into Jonny’s arms that very same day. It was like out of The Notebook or something. That stupid movie ending where you roll your eyes and just whisper “typical” under your breath, all while your heart is totally alight. Those moments I took way too seriously as a girl in the movies. The ones I credit to my hopeless romanticism. One-week later Jonny and I were in the car, on our way to start a life together, one we both had been manifesting for almost a decade. That drive was surreal. I couldn’t believe it; and honestly, I still can’t. I’ve always believed in miracles, and ever since I laid eyes on Jonny when I was 21, as crazy as our journey has been…this my friends is nothing short of a miracle. We moved to Breckenridge in September of 2020. A place that can only be described as an actual, real-life snow globe. I bet I probably lived here in another life. It seemed so familiar. I was exactly where I was meant to be. I guess I am a mountain girl after all.
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Jonny proposed on May 1^st, 2022, at my Grandparents house- the very same place my parents got married 35 years ago. It was simple, sentimental and a personal testament that I didn’t settle. I let life take me where it needed to go, to get where I was meant to be…with Jonny.
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 I kept praying that in the end it was us. That we weren’t just another lesson or a season. That Jonny wasn’t somebody I didn’t get to keep. I have a stubborn heart; I’ve always been good at knowing what it’s meant for; and I follow that path righteously. On August 26^th, 2023 that path will have me stand at one end while Jonny is at the other. Everyone reading this will hopefully be there; and all but for a day, time will stop just as equally as it will fly.  Jonny and I will finally be able to say, “we got here, we did it, we didn’t give up.” Afterall, isn’t that what it’s all about? Pushing forward for the things that have the most risk. It is within those defining moments where who is next to you matters the most… and for us, it’s always been each other. 
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Sincerely,
Future Mrs. Howle